On the weekend I went to the Carnival in Gualeguaychú. It's held every Saturday starting the first week of the year and it continues until the first week on March. From what I've been told it's a miniature, bastardised version of the carnivals in Brazil.

Beautiful bodies are dressed in elaborate costumes of colour - sparkling, glittering and glided through the air with a tail of feathers. Their make-up transforms them into characters from stories of supernature... and then they dance. They dance, wriggle and jiggle every part of their flesh in ways evolution had not accounted for.

[Above & below] Although in these photos it is quite apparent, often women would pass with only a slight of material preserving their humility i.e. their nipples. The concentrated flap of glitter and colour would simply hover on the bouncing flesh with, what I assume, is either a powerful adhesive or a powerful magic - which I would love to learn.

The crowd on either side of the carnival runway would cheer and dance as the wonderful floats sailed by slowly. People would often jump over the barriers to have their photo taken with one of the dancers. Please see Facebook for approximately 1 billion examples.

[Below] Breasts were pushed together and danced together in strange but wonderful ways. I believe Isaac Newton would have had some rather strong conflicts of theory had he been to carnival before that apple fell on his head.

I went to Guayeguachoohoo with two friends. We had nothing with us except a bit of food for the journey and pullovers. Our return bus journey was at 11am, so after watching the carnival we intended to sleep on the beach - n.b. whenever a town doesn't have a sea the banks of their river is called a "beach."

My friends each found a concrete picnic table to use, after which there was only a narrow, concrete park bench available for me- though after an hour I moved to the equally hard ground. We toyed with the fantastic notion of sleep between 4am and 5.30am but after being raped by mosquitoes - which were flying in and out of our dreams - and being violated by a dramatic drop in temperature we decided to head back to the bus station prematurely and try to sleep there.

For the following 2 hours we tried sleeping with our heads resting on our arms whilst seated at a cafeteria table. The 2 hours which followed that were passed outstretched on terribly uncomfortable, plastic chairs - which were not a continuous, flat surface like a concrete, park bench, but curvilinear buckets shaped for the contour of the arse... each separated from the one beside it. No matter what I did I could not get comfortable, though I think I had one short dream in which I dreamt I was asleep.

The return bus journey was a 3-hour dream.