2 September 2018

5 biggest douchebags of the Royal Botanic Gardens


On 11 November 2017, my visit to a kitty rescue centre was thwarted by closing time.

It was a lovely day, so on the sad journey home I stopped at Melbourne's beautiful Royal Botanic Gardens.

Little did I know, it was rife with douchebags.

1. Miles O'Connor

What sort of cockwomble graffities a succulent? To be fair, it's probably the only thing Miles O'Connor knows how to write. I'm sure he only recently moved out of his cave.

Also, I shouldn't single out Miles... many other numpties left their mark on other succulents.

What kind of douchebag graffities a plant?

2. The bird-catcher tree

"How to survuve in poor soil: coat your fruit with a sticky substance. A bird gets stuck to the fruit and dies. When the fruit drops, the decaying bird fertilises the soil for the emerging seedling. Poor little birds – or important part of forest ecology?"

Um, poor little birds! And an arsehole tree.

Pisonia brunoniana, the bird catcher tree or parapara.

3. This kid trampling over respect

Although the Shrine of Remembrance is not technically inside the grounds of the Melbourne Gardens, it is right outside and should be a part of your visit. I was there on Remembrance Day 2017, so I was lucky to catch the installation from 5000 Poppies, a community tribute of respect and remembrance – and this douchebag kid running all over it. Noice.

4. Bamboo Without Borders

People worked hard to lay down this bitumen, but bamboo don't care. Bamboo is gangsta!

Bambou Sans Frontières

5. The gate that will dismember you

The imagery is essential.

BONUS: This jerk tempting fate

Some people have no respect for gates.

Have you seen any douchebags at the Royal Botanic Gardens? Please judge in the comments below.


  1. Nice images. I really love traveling and want to go there places where I feel nature.


Note: only a member of this blog may post a comment.